Little Rainbows Read online

  “I’m sorry, Heather. But I’ll meet you for lunch at about one.”

  “Don’t worry about it, I understand. You do have a business to run after all.” Her smile felt stupid on her face, too bright for the conversation they were having, but she couldn’t help it. Ever since she’d woken up, she’d felt as if she were floating. It was as if she’d rediscovered herself, as if after months of feeling out of sorts, she fitted her body again. Jason’s arms around her, last night while they’d drifted off and the sweet nothings he’d murmured in her ear had allowed her to stay relaxed and satisfied. The thought had crossed her mind she might wake up feeling guilty, but she’d shrugged it off. If she did, she’d deal with it.

  This morning she’d woken up to Jason watching her, his fingers combing through her hair with a worried expression on his face. She’d instantly known what he had to be thinking. Searching her mind and her heart, she’d looked for feelings of guilt and had found none. She’d only felt good, very satisfied and like herself.

  “I don’t like leaving you alone.” Jason’s voice was gruff and filled with worry.

  “I told you. I won’t be on my own.” She felt as if her face would split if she smiled any brighter. “I’m meeting Amber for a chat and coffee shortly and then I’ll have a few things I need to do before we continue our planning this afternoon. It’s all good, Jason.” She looked straight into his eyes. “I’m all good. Stop worrying about me.”

  She could see he wanted to smile back at her and didn’t like the worry lingering in his eyes. She’d told him she had no regrets. Either he didn’t believe her or he regretted what had happened between them last night. She didn’t like either idea. Since there was nothing she could do about it while he had people to meet and a business to run, she let it go.

  She watched as Jason walked away, taking the time to admire his impressive backside, before turning and entering her apartment. A quick shower and fresh clothes followed by a girly morning with Amber was just what she needed.

  It had been too long since she’d simply socialized and enjoyed pleasant company. She looked in the mirror and grinned at herself. She’d been so worried about coming here, about kick-starting her life. And look at her now. Forty-eight hours later it felt as if her world had finally found its rightful place in the universe again. She was back. She’d rediscovered life and looked forward to finding out what might happen next. And she’d have to find a way of sharing those feelings and her excitement with Jason. It was all thanks to him. She wasn’t worried. There was no need for him to be concerned about her.

  “Oh my, you look amazing.” Amber’s smile was bright and somewhat mischievous when Heather found her on the patio, waiting in the sunshine. “I’d love to know what you got up to last night.”

  Heather couldn’t hide the silly smirk on her face. “What makes you think I got up to anything besides a lovely dinner in charming company?”

  “Only a few things make a girl radiate satisfaction like that. And sexy new shoes are hard to find around here.”

  Heather just laughed. She liked the idea that her rediscovered lust for life could be read on her face. “Satisfaction is the right word for it, Amber. I won’t say it doesn’t surprise me, but I feel wonderful this morning.”

  Amber’s hug was a surprise. “I’m so glad. I felt so bad when I saw your reaction two nights ago. And then, last night, after you two left, Hector said he was afraid you might be moving too fast…” She allowed the sentence to fall away. “I know we’ve only just met, but I like you and I was worried.”

  A small lump formed in Heather’s throat. It had been a long time since somebody had cared this much about her. No, that wasn’t fair. It had been a long time since she’d allowed anybody else to care this much about her feelings.

  “Thank you, Amber. It’s nice of you to care. I’m good. It wasn’t as fast as it may have seemed. Jason and I met before, twenty years ago.” She thought for a moment. “I’m feeling much better than I would have expected. I just wish I could say the same for Jason.”

  Shit, she hadn’t meant to say that much. She liked Amber, but she’d only just met her. Besides, the girl and her Dom worked for Jason. Her last statement had been too much on so many levels.

  “Forget I said that, please, Amber. I shouldn’t have.”

  Amber’s understanding smile made her feel a bit better. “It’s okay, Heather. I won’t repeat it if you don’t want me to.” The smile vanished. “Hector’s worried about Jason too. Has been for some time. And I probably shouldn’t be talking to you about that.” The redhead sighed. “Let’s leave it for now. Hey, do you feel like going to the pond to take advantage of the sun? We could have our coffees there. Couldn’t we?” Amber turned to the waitress who’d just arrived at their table.

  “I’d love to,” Heather said.

  As curious as she might be about Hector’s reasons for worrying about Jason, Heather was glad the conversation had moved away from personal stuff. She’d no right to go delving into Jason’s secrets, if he had any. She pushed the thought away.

  “I can’t believe all the glorious weather we’re having. We better enjoy it while we can.” She looked at the clear blue sky and shook her head. “After all, this is Ireland and you know what they say. If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change.”

  “Well, if we’re lucky, not today.” Amber laughed. “Will you be staying until after the party?”

  As if a cloud had moved in front of the sun, Heather’s mood shifted. “No. At least, that’s not the way we planned it.” She frowned. How had that slipped her mind? “I’m due to go back to Dublin tomorrow and return here the Monday before the party.” She saw the question on Amber’s face and answered it without needing to hear it. “I don’t know if yesterday changes the timetable, and I’m not going to ask him.”

  No, she wasn’t going to pester him just because he had given her the best night in a long time. She shrugged, trying to make light of it, for her own sake as much as Amber’s. “Besides, I only packed for three days.” Suddenly she felt the need to get away from her personal life. “Tell me about you and Hector. You two are so beautiful together. How did you meet him? When?”

  Heather had picked the right topic to redirect Amber’s attention. The sub’s eyes lit up as she launched into her story.

  “We met three years ago in a club in Dublin. I was twenty-one at the time and rather innocent. My friends had dragged me to this place I’d never heard of. You probably know it, the DC?

  Heather nodded. She did know the place, the Dark Cellar, and didn’t like it—or the man who ran it.

  “I couldn’t believe my eyes.” Those same eyes lit up as Amber continued. “I never knew places like that existed or that people engaged in such acts…and in public.” Amber’s gaze grew unfocused for a moment. “I was in trouble almost immediately. A masked man dressed in black ordered me to kneel for him. He raised his hand when I didn’t. That’s when Hector stepped in.”

  Heather could picture it. She’d visited that club with Darren once or twice and had never liked the feel of it. There were no real rules there. Once you walked in, you were fair game. A woman on her own didn’t stand a chance.

  “Hector worked there?”

  Amber shook her head. “No, he was there with friends too and on his way out when he saved me. He told me I should leave, that me and my innocence didn’t belong there.” Her smile grew radiant.

  “I still don’t know where I found the courage, but I told him I was curious and asked him to show me around. The rest is more or less history.”

  Heather loved Amber’s story. It was just what she needed to take her mind of Jason for a little while. “Don’t tell me it was love at first sight.”

  “Oh, but it was. For me at least.” Amber grinned. “Hector claims he doesn’t believe in that sort of rubbish—his words. But I knew. Then and there I was sure I had found the man I belonged to.”

  All Heather could do was smile. “I adore a
good love story. And you two are so clearly made for each other.”

  She closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sun and soaked in the warmth. She was happy and didn’t feel guilty about it. She’d met a woman who might well turn into a friend and her body still hummed with pleasure. If anyone had asked her, she would have told them life was good.

  * * * *

  “No. It is not going to happen.”

  “Jason, be reasonable.” Hector glared at his boss. “You know you’re going to have to do it. Why are you resisting it so much?”

  “There is no need.” Jason wanted to hit something. “You and Amber are down for two demonstrations. Roger”—he looked at the man across the table who nodded—“and Leo will be doing one and Margaret is displaying Celia and Evan. That’s enough.”

  Jason fixed his eyes on Hector, hoping against hope his friend would take the hint and leave it alone. He should have known better.

  “You’re missing the point, Jason, and you’re well aware of it.” He recognized the confusion in the man’s eyes. Of course he didn’t understand Jason’s reluctance. How could he?

  “This is your club. You are the Master Jay who’s invited them all to come here. They will be expecting to see you in action. Not showing them who and what you are is setting yourself up for failure before you’ve even begun.”

  Confusion had turned into exasperation.

  He couldn’t blame Hector. The man had watched as Jason became more and more reluctant to perform in public for no apparent reason. He hadn’t explained himself to anyone and had no intention of doing so now.

  He nodded. “I’ll think about it.” He knew he wouldn’t be changing his mind, but it might be enough to stop the conversation for now.

  He saw Hector open his mouth to continue the argument and turned away.

  “Roger, you want to have a practice run with Leo tonight?”

  The younger Dom nodded. “Yes, I think I should. We’ve not been working together for very long and I just want to make sure it works.”

  Jason nodded, thankful his distraction tactic appeared to have worked and just as grateful his staff cared about getting things right.

  “Fabulous. Have a word with Karl about what you need. I’ll make sure I’m there for the scene. If it’s anything like the last one I saw, we’ll be in for a treat.” Jason leaned back. “And that’s all for today. We’ll be meeting every other day until this weekend is behind us.” He couldn’t wait for the bloody weekend to be over. The only good thing to have come out of it had been meeting Heather again.

  Heather… He felt his body relax. Even if she was the only positive to be gained from this mess he’d created for himself, it would have been well worth it.

  “I should have a provisional timetable ready for the next meeting.” Jason pushed his chair back, unsuccessfully trying to get away before anybody could waylay him.

  “Jason, a word.”

  “Not now, Hector. I’m meeting Heather for lunch in a few minutes.”

  He didn’t like brushing his friend off, but the man was too perceptive. He didn’t want to talk about his personal failings with anybody.

  He saw the disappointment and confusion on Hector’s face and could have kicked himself.

  “I’m not sure what is wrong, Jason, but you’re going to have to deal with it sooner or later. Sooner sounds like a good idea.”

  The attempt at a joke was feeble at best, but both men smiled, trying to save the moment from becoming too awkward.

  The concession was minor, but it was the only one he could make.

  “Hector, I know where to find you if I want or need to talk.” For a second Jason considered setting his reservations aside and just confiding in his friend. “Right now I don’t.” He didn’t add the words he heard in his mind ‘want to, anyway’ and couldn’t help feeling that Hector had picked them up regardless.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “So, what have we got?”

  Heather leaned back in her chair and looked at the gorgeous man on the other side of the desk. They’d had a lovely lunch together.

  Jason had seemed tense when they met up and she’d been tempted to ask him about it. One night of mind-blowing sex didn’t give her the right to poke into his private thoughts though, so she’d kept her mouth shut. Well, except when they’d been kissing. Her mouth had been open for that, and her tongue busy. She smiled.

  “Something funny, Heather?”

  She loved how he cocked his head and quirked his eyebrow. “Just a private joke. Nothing important.” She forced her mind away from his rather amazing tongue and all the feelings it aroused in her and back on the matter at hand. “Your weekend. We have to try and finish the provisional timetable.”

  The grin on his face faded and he shook his head.

  “Jason, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Everything.” He stared at the wall behind her and frowned. “This weekend is starting to feel like more hard work than it’s worth.”

  She sucked in her breath. If he’d hit her, she wouldn’t have been more surprised. Did he mean what she feared? She felt his eyes on her face as she tried desperately not to show all the emotions rushing through her.

  “No. Shit.” Anger flashed across his face. “Stop your mind, Heather. That’s not what I meant.”

  She was proud her voice didn’t waver when she answered. “What did you mean then?”

  He got up from behind his desk and walked around it, toward her. Taking her hand, he looked into her eyes.

  “Before lunch, during the meeting I couldn’t stop thinking that the only good thing coming out of my brilliant idea was your arrival here.”

  She could breathe again. “What’s so bad about the rest of it, Jason?”

  Apparently it was his turn to be stuck for words.

  “Everything. The expectations, the work involved, all the various ways in which it could turn into an unrivaled disaster.” He grimaced. “The list is endless.”

  Okay. This she could deal with. This wasn’t her first encounter with cold feet. In fact, it was so common it was almost laughable. People decided they wanted to throw a party, got all enthusiastic until they realized the real work involved. By then of course it would be too late. Invitations would have been sent and accepted and canceling would do more damage than a less-than-perfect party ever could. Reassuring them was part of the job description.

  “Jason, relax. Tell me what you had in mind and we’ll take it from there.”

  He rattled the list off. “Arrival on Friday, followed by a tour of the premises and a buffet dinner. One exhibition in the evening before people can do what they bloody well please.”

  Heather listened to Jason with tension growing in her belly. What had him so worried? There’d been no sign of this reluctance during their meeting yesterday. She’d thought they were almost done when they’d finished talking. And now, he appeared to hate the whole idea.

  She watched him as he took a deep breath and made the effort to calm himself.

  “I thought it might be best to leave the mornings empty and allow people to start the day at their own pace. Saturday afternoon there will be a meeting of all the Doms and Dommes. That should give them the opportunity to check me out.” His voice turned harsh again. “Like a bloody monkey in a zoo. I’d just as soon skip that part, but Hector informs me there’s no getting around it.”

  “Hector’s right.”

  Talking business was easier. His behavior worried her.

  “The people you’ve invited will be forming opinions about you, whether you like it or not. Such a meeting gives you the opportunity to have them do so on your terms.”

  “Still makes me feel like I’ll be up for inspection.” Despite his words, his mood seemed to be lifting.

  “You will be. There’s no avoiding it.” She took a deep breath. Might as well get the bad news out now. “And they’ll be looking to find fault.” She felt her own anger rising. “And you know this, Jason. Things are the same in A
merica. This is a small and almost incestuous world. Outsiders don’t understand our desires and needs, are scared of them and want to find ways to discredit and shame us. It makes insiders suspicious of anything and anyone new.”

  Suddenly Jason looked tired and every one of his forty-three years. “Yes, I do know. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” He shook his head. “And I shouldn’t be taking all my doubts and second thoughts out on you. I’m sorry.” Jason took a deep breath and continued, “There’ll be two demonstrations on Saturday. One in the afternoon and one in the evening, depending on how the getting to know the Dom session goes.”

  He smiled ruefully. She appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood. She desperately wanted to know what had him so down and couldn’t help worrying it might be her and the night they’d spent together. She just didn’t have the courage to ask.

  * * * *

  Jason watched as emotions rapidly replaced each other on Heather’s face. Surprise was replaced by pain before turning in to fear. Sometimes he was such a prick. He had no right taking his insecurities out on her. She’d been nothing but a delight ever since she arrived and in return he caused her pain because he couldn’t get his shit together.

  “Weather allowing, I figured we’d have a barbeque outside, near the pond, on Saturday. It may even be possible to have that evening’s demonstration outside, provided the temperatures don’t change.”

  He could feel himself relaxing. Listing all the details made it feel less daunting.

  “People will start leaving late Sunday afternoon or early evening so the last demonstration will have to take place in the afternoon. Dinner for those who want it and then it will be over.”

  Just the thought of having the whole affair behind him made him breathe out in relief.

  Heather smiled at him and nodded. “That sounds good. What about workshops?”

  “Those were offered on the invitations, but the interest was so low I’ve decided to let the idea go.” He shrugged. “Most, if not all, guests have been in the lifestyle for years. Maybe they don’t want or need workshops.”